Dream
by Fueled By Dr. Pepper
Summary: 1707 words. A one-shot exploring the realities and the fantasies that intertwine in Leah and Jake's lives.


Dream

_It was normal as our fucked up lives could get. It was even pretty sunny for this hellhole._

_I was sitting. On a park bench or maybe even just standing and leaning on a tree. But it was definitely the kiddy park._

_Typical day. Little children running around. Moms or babysitters close by enough to keep trouble away but still distant enough to let kids be kids._

_I should have realized then that something was different. _

_I-_

_I usually feel it. That little ache. The one that sits on my chest and pulls down my mind with it, plummeting brain and heart into a churning stomach. _

_I should have noticed when that wasn't there._

_There was a sort of peace there. The kind I feel when it's just Jake and me. I've never felt away from but then, it was like I had with me permanently._

_Then I heard it. A call. _

"_Mommy."_

_I know, not exactly distinct but something was different. It was like my ears were trained to detect that exact voice._

_It was sort of out of body, the way I looked around until I spotted the source of the shout._

_The moment froze and I was allowed to observe and react, at least I felt like I was in my head._

_A little girl. No older than 7. Long flowing dark hair held back by a simple little headband. That familiar russet skin covering tiny hands and arms and knobby knees. Tall, lanky, with all the signs that she'd grow up to be a heartbreaker. Her smile was big and wide. Missing a tooth but that made it perfect. She was running pretty fast for her age and giggling lowly. _

_I knew it. I felt it. This was my daughter with Jake. If I had been outwardly allowed to respond, I think I would have burst into tears. Or maybe just hyperventilated, I don't know._

_But then I was on autopilot again, just squatting and holding out my arms to catch her. When she finally got there, I locked her into a fiercely tight hug and spun her around once before setting her on my hip. I stared a bit, matching her smile with my own._

"_Why do you do that Mommy?"_

_Her head tilted slightly to the side and brows just barely scrunched together. Such a Jake expression . . . but those were my lips and Dad's nose._

"_Do what, baby?"_

_My voice was calm and sweet, like I was talking to my ladybug._

"_You get that look, Mommy. When you look at me or Daddy or Ness. You look really pretty and happy."_

_I swear I could feel the tears lining up in my eyes, "You guys make me happy, Sarah."_

_She smiled again and giggled as she wrapped her arms around my neck to hug me tightly. _

"And then I woke up."

Leah's last words were a whisper aimed more at the kitchen table than her mother who had been listening so attentively.

Her right thumb and forefinger were still squeezing the skin between left thumb and forefinger – a stress-relieving tactic she learned long ago that developed into a habit.

There wasn't much emotion in her voice; she has expended most of it when she hid her violent sob in a warm shower early that morning. She was calmed down but a little detached at the moment.

Sue Clearwater placed her hand over her daughter's.

Leah's jaw trembled but her eyes were dry- the tear ducts had been exhausted already.

That last bit of emotion was stuck inside Leah like the final drops of water resisting evaporation on the house's windowpanes. It wasn't sadness or pain like she had first felt, which made it harder to express.

Sue waited for Leah to be ready. Sensitive issues required delicate maneuvers.

"And how are you feeling now?"

The question of the day, the month, of Leah's entire life.

She took her time searching for the right word to answer. It ended up being so simple.

"Angry."

Leah's jaw was clenched now. Her nostrils flared slightly and she shut her eyes to stop the visions of red.

"What kind of sick joke is this? My mind – Fate – the universe – whoever or whatever brought the dream about is cruel. Taunting me with what might not be. It's not fair. I'm happy. Finally happy again. I don't want to feel like it still isn't good enough."

Nowhere close to phasing, Leah's upper body still shivered with tremors of rage.

Sue stood up and held her daughter.

Leah's cries were muffled against the chest of her mother. Unlike earlier, these cries were ones of frustration and disgust.

"Let it out, baby. Let it all out."

Sue knew her daughter pretty well. Even with the pack and other supernatural circumstances, she was as good a parent she could be.

Sometimes it meant being harsh with her, sometimes it meant standing back and letting Leah work through it alone. But there were still times like these where Leah was just a girl who needed her mother's contact comfort.

When the sounds had stopped and Leah was limp in her arms, Sue took a breath before she spoke.

"Honey, it was a dream. I know it felt so real and how it affects you. It may 'come true' it may not. But the best part of dreams is that you get to keep them forever exactly as they are."

Leah sighed and Sue placed a small kiss on the top of her head.

The rest of the visit was spent in a comfortable silence as Leah steadied her breathing to match her mother's.

Sue parted with Leah and joked that Jake would probably show up at precisely the moment Sue's car was out of sight. Comforted but still quite drained Leah only laughed nodded along, saving the last of her energy to hug and kiss her mother goodbye wholeheartedly.

Leah paced herself; slowly washing the few dishes she had used for breakfast. When Jake's arms wrapped around her, she was legitimately startled and gasped inaudibly before realization hit her.

"Mom was right – you just missed her."

Leah covered up the shakiness to her voice with the joke and a fake chuckle.

"Sue stopped by? Damn. I guess I'll catch her next time."

Leah finished rinsing and drying the dishes as Jake buried his nose in her hair, taking in her scent and listening to the thump-thump-thump of her heartbeat.

"I'm tired," he mumbled into her shoulder.

Leah sighed, "So am I."

She turned around and Jake looked at her face for the first time that day. She looked so fragile and damaged; it tugged at the individual sinews that built up the muscles of Jake's heart. She moved forward slightly and Jake didn't hesitate to pull her back into his arms.

"Lee lee, let's take a nap."

The only response from Leah was a small "mm hmm" as she let Jake drag her to the living room. She put up no resistance to being pulled down to lie down on the couch with him. Coddled in his soothing embrace, Leah felt she had to tell Jake about the dream. The possibility that this new information could hurt him bubbled up hesitance in her.

When Leah looked up at him with fear in her eyes, Jake silently swore on everything he had that he'd make it better. He loosened his grip and put the most placating expression he had on his face. Leah's bottom lip wavered so slightly he almost hadn't noticed. Her heartbeat was pattering so much more quickly and violently, Jake felt it was thundering in his ears.

"Jake."

And that was all Leah got out. She curled her lips inward and rested her forehead against his chest.

Jake unwittingly placed a kiss on Leah's head in the exact spot her mother had earlier in the day. The small gesture clicked the pieces together for Leah – there wasn't any need to keep secrets from Jake, before everything, they had always understood each other.

"I had a dream last night. It – " Leah struggled to describe her array of reactions, "It hurt me."

Jake hugged her close and raised a hand to run his fingers through her hair.

"What was the dream?"

Leah inhaled. The rush of Jake's natural scent flooded her nose and she was further comforted. Their eyes connected and Leah let the words flow.

Jake listened closely as Leah walked him through her dream and her morning after. The way her eyes lit up when she mentioned the little girl and the blush that crept across her face when she said the words "our daughter", those were the things that Jake etched into his memory.

If would be a lie to say that the thought of being a father didn't scare him. But the excitement of it and the warming thought of giving Leah something no one else could were starting to overpower the fear.

"And that's when I woke up, I started crying."

Jake's thumb started rubbing soft circles on Leah's cheek, "Why?"

"I just . . . hated knowing I might never get to experience that for real. And I hated feeling that way because I am happy with us exactly as we are right now."

Jake kissed Leah's forehead.

"So am I. I'm not gonna lie, having a daughter with you, it sounds awesome. But as long as I'm with you, I'm down for anything life throws at us."

Leah smiled. It still amazed her when he knew exactly what she needed to hear, or maybe it was the fact that he meant every word that always stunned her. She nodded, "That's why Mom came over. She helped me."

Leah laughed, "She said something about dreams being something I can keep forever."

Jake chuckled, "We do technically have eternity together."

Leah sighed and buried her head in the crook of his neck, "I could definitely spend eternity like this."

Whether that little girl was waiting for them just around the corner or a far-off dot on the horizon, Jake and Leah had these waking hours to treasure for the present moment.


End file.
